Monday, October 06, 2008

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

I am writing this from room 18, eighth floor of North Hospital, where I am starting my clinical trial. It's a brand new cocktail of chemo drugs my body hasn't encountered before, the logic being that the cancer will be taken by surprise and lay down and die. At least long enough to get back on the bone marrow transplant route. I'll be spending Monday through Friday here, and if all is well, sent home for the weekend. Then next Monday I'll be back here for another five days, out on the weekend. From there on out, it'll be clinic visits and such until the transplant process gets up and running. The drugs are in IV and pill form, and because of potential side effects, I'm being monitored pretty closely for the first few days of chemo. Today is my general admission stuff day, followed by some medicines to prevent side effects. I get the poison tomorrow. Goodie gumdrops.

No, seriously though, I really am hoping and praying that this is the right treatment for me right now. Having the bone marrow transplant yanked out from under my feet made me realize that for as much as I was dreading the process and side effects, I really do want to have the transplant. I NEED the transplant. If anything, this latest set back has helped me get over those fears and hesitations I did have about the bone marrow transplant. So over them.

So let's all raise some loud prayers that this treatment gets my stubborn, stupid Zombie Leukemia into remission.

Oh and one more thing, my husband got terminated from his job.

Yeah, awesome.

Breaks down like this: He gets a negative review, the first really negative review he's had in the seven years he's worked for this company. A few days later, he's pulled off of his contract, his place of employment since he started with the company. Then today in a nice tidy little meeting he was told he's being let go. Cool, huh? Way to stick it in and break it off, jerkfaces.

And yeah, I can write this because I AM NOT YOUR EFFING EMPLOYEE.

Because folks, although he never mentioned the name of his employer or the names of any of his fellow employees, my husband was terminated because of things about work he wrote on his personal blog. Not his job performance. Not how he worked with other people. Not his attitude. Not his skill level.

His personal blog.

So all you fellow bloggers out there, be vigilant regarding your company's policy on blogging. They may even have a policy you don't know about. Look it up. Seriously.

In fact, while you are at it, watch any and all conversations you have in public with people about your job because in essence that's what a blog is.

(Paragraphs regarding my gut feelings on the matter have been removed from this post by author. )

Let me reiterate that I have already requested if you are my husband's ex-employer you should cease and desist from reading my blog. Because I AM NOT YOUR EMPLOYEE.

We're still getting our arms wrapped around the notion that a company would fire a perfectly capable and hard-working employee for a few grumpy personal blog posts and what that means to us as a family right now. COBRA (no, not the G.I. Joe nemesis) should take care of insurance for a while, but my kid's gotta eat and bills gotta be paid and stuff like that. The Mister's buckling down for his job search, and for the first time in my life I am actually thinking of going on the dole, looking into the possibility of getting disability. 'Cause I sure can't get a job with all this going into the hospital nonsense and such.

So there you go.

My heart is not concerned. I believe that everything will work out in the long run. When you're in the weeds and crap is flying everywhere, it's hard to see the long-term effects a particularly nasty thing will have on your life. But after some time has passed, you see that what seemed a big ole fat mess in the moment was simply a stepping stone to something better. That and I believe in a Divine Plan. My experiences are, if nothing, a chance to learn more and to serve as a means by which I can better rely on God and reveal to others my personal faith.

But damn, can you give a girl a break once and while?


MelodyLane said...

That is some serious BS. You have got to be kidding. I would so kick someone's tailfeathers. Let me know if you need the help.

The clinical trial will work. It's a new mantra. I am still sending happy thoughts your way.

Things will get better soon. You just have to believe.

TK said...

Those rat-bastards. I'm so sorry, Manda. Good luck to you and Mr. Pink. As always, thoughts are with you.

JamieSmitten said...

I would not want to be working anywhere near that former employer when the karma train catches up with those worm bastards. Fortunately A is ultra-employable, so this is merely a brief adjust-your-antenna-to-clear-up-the-fuzz moment. You concentrate on welcoming the new drugs into your system smoothly -- and I'll see you Wednesday.

Anonymous said...

oh no they didn't. i am making a little voodoo doll of an office building and poking little black tipped needles into it. you think positively and put good out there and good will come back to you. leave the evil-doing to your minions.

rach said...

People are bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.

Sending every warm fuzzy your way that I can!

Helly said...

I am unspeakably sad and angry for you all. After 7 years to do that, I can't believe it. Hope those bastards get their come-upance and that the job hunt goes smoothly.

Anonymous said...

God, people suck.

If it makes you feel any better (which it won't), my husband was terminated after 23 years last December. He has been at home ever since.

Tell Mr. A to check ~ there are jobs here. And the insurance is great and you can go anywhere, even Mayo.

You are in my thoughts. I saw the man that fired my husband at a hardware store (I used to work with the SOB as well and travel with him for business). I told all my friends I took him out with a post hole digger....or a pick axe. It was a lie. But I thought about it.

Hang in there.....Cheer the Meds. Ishetasheashenawe, let them work!

Carol in Indiana

Megan said...

Un-lurking - sounds like you need to borrow you the Pajiba Murdertank? Have a feeling there might be one or two helpful volunteers who would take a turn at the cannon...

Geekbride said...

I just said a prayer for you and your family.

It certainly seems that your husband got fired for some BS reasons that are meant to cover up the real, illegal reason he was let go.

And I know how you feel wanting the Man Upstairs to give you a break. My family has been waiting for one for 30 years now.

Just try and hold on and i'll keep praying and hoping. That's all we can really do.

Pea said...

You're in my prayers.

There are lots of jobs here in Toronto.

I have it all figured out - Mr. Pink can get a great job downtown Toronto, you can have your bone marrow transplant at Princess Margaret Hospital, and I'll step in as the loyal Pabibette who will babysit little A.

Anonymous said...


Calm deep breaths. Breathe.

Ok, first of all, I'm getting really good feelings for the clinical trial. It seems like this is your path. It would make sense that you would be a trail blazer for something that could save lives. You are meant to have an extraordinary life.

Which is probably why these things are happening right now. It seems like so much all at once, and bajebus, it really truly is. But extraordinary things comes from extreme situations and adversity, and with all this shite happening now, I can only imagine the wonderful things that are awaiting you and your family on the flip side of the storm.

You are CONSTANTLY in my thoughts and prayers, and I will channel my murderous rage at those assholes into good and positive things for you guys. It will all come together.

Love from Boo Corner. So much love.

dsbs said...

Oh GOOD GRIEF. I'm so so sorry, Alabama. Hang in there. You know you're tough and strong and awesome and magnificent, but it can't hurt to hear it again, especially during a time of such hardship.

That is ridiculous. Best of luck for you and your family in all you're going through right now. The bad stuff never comes one at a time, it's lumped on you all at once.

But it will pass, because it's in the nature of things to do so. And you will be able to look back and say "I kicked ass," so keep being strong.

You're in my thoughts.

Drake said...

Love your attitude, 'Manda. I have good feelings about this trial as well.

And good luck to Mr. P with the job search. And, a date with a bag of rabid cats to his former employers.

Keeping you in this agnostic's prayers.

cindy said...

I'm sending my best thoughts and vibes your way. Stay strong.

Tamatha said...

Please work with my superstitious nature for a minute.

Last week I opened a fortune cookie and it said "Believe in Miracles." I thought of you right away, and said to myself, "I am believing in a miracle for AlabamaPink and her clinical trial."

Two days later, I dropped four pennies, and all landed heads up. Immediately in my mind, one of those lucky pennies was for you.

And every time I see a digital clock and it is 10:10 or 11:11 (which seems to happen often lately) I think about you getting better.

So, yes, I recognize the silliness of these superstitions, but I'm running with them. For a non-religious person like myself, this is how I put the good thoughts for you out there.

And I'm going to keep on doing so, until things are right in your world.

Lucas said...

Could he sue the company for wrongful wronging?

Kathy U said...

Whoa! Did your husbands employer have a policy that defined appropriate internet usage as it pertains to his place of employment? If so, did he sign it? If not, he needs to bring up that point and get his job back - that is if he wants it.

Sending you good vibes and virtual hugs.

Kathy in Washington State

Anonymous said...

I know what you mean about living a life you did not expect to. I was diagnosed with a progressive auto-immune disease two years ago, and things have just gotten worse. Sometimes, you just want a day off. Good luck with the new chemo and transplant. I also just missed out on qualifying for a transplant (stem cell) but am waiting to try a leukemia drug protocol to see if it helps.

Anonymous said...

Hey, another pajiban and also ex-rva citizen here to say I have got nothing but good vibes, thoughts, prayers, and hopes for you and your family.
As to your husband's ex-employers, not so much. Fuckers.

Jeremy said...

I'm so sorry Manda. This is just fucking disgusting. I really hope you two will be back on your feet soon. All the best to you, Mr. Pink and Lil A.

Anonymous said...


Today has been all about shit happening to good people and I am about to lose it! Manda, I am so sorry you have to be dealing with those fuckwits. I am so pleased that your faith is giving you the strength to remember that this, too, shall pass. Please know that you remain in my thoughts and prayers...

Anonymous said...

Just remember...what goes around comes around.

Anonymous said...

That is disgusting! I really hope your husband finds a job immediately and that things get better for you all soon.

And I really hope Karma catches up with your husband's former employees soon.

Ranylt said...

Man alive. Your wheel of fortune may have dipped, but the Greeks were right: that wheel's got momentum and HAS to HAS to climb again. It's physics!

(Off to go kick something)

K. Stone said...

My eyes fill up with tears as I read your latest blog (you're an amazing blogger, by the way). I've been keeping up with your progress and you've constantly been in my prayers.

I'm so sorry for this unforseen curveball. Just make sure to swing extra hard as it crosses the plate - that's the only way to hit it out of the park.

My husband also lost his job unexpectedly a few months ago. It's a terrfying thing to endure, but now we both have better jobs and much happier. The same will happen for you and the Mr. Stay strong.

Remember that hell's arms will open wide for your husband's previous employers.

Marissa said...

I really think that Adrian should should sue. Not necessarily because of the termination, but because of the comment they made about his home life. That is 100% illegal dude.

Also thinking good thoughts about your new treatment!!!

Katy said...

I also think that everything happens for a reason, and divine plans and all. It seems pretty logical from an outsiders perspective that the Mr's loss of employment might be coming at just the time that you are going to need him by your side the most. I'm sure it would have been really difficult for him to have split his time between his job and you, so that decision was made for him. Since insurance issues can be put aside for the time being, try to enjoy this opportunity to spend as much time as you can with the people you love the most.

Hang in there Manda. You've got just another random person in the world pulling for you : )

Anonymous said...

Would you mind naming the company, so those of us who would like to avoid doing business with such ... persons ... might more easily avoid doing so?


Kimberly said...

That well and truly blows! I know Big A will be in a better higher paying job soon. The clinical trial sounds tough but positive. Just wanted you to know a fellow virginian is thinking about you and your family.
Karma is a bitch and I hope his ex-boss feels it sooner rather than later! Think zombie cancer killing thoughts and take care of yourself

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