Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Here's the Deal-io

As always, thanks to everyone for their thoughts and prayers. It was a well needed boost for my spirit.

After meeting with the head of the bone marrow team and my oncologist, I've got a little renewed hope. A little.

While its not good news that my leukemia didn't respond to conventional treatments, there are other options. There are chemo drugs that I haven't taken, the thought being that a new chemical will bust up the cancer instead the same old same old which hasn't gotten us very far. The clinical trial is still on the table and holds another promise.

The White Coat Folks are meeting this afternoon to discuss the various options and which one would be the most optimal in my situation. The leukemia needs to be in a remission state before the transplant can begin but beating the hell out of my body before then might not be helpful in the long run and jeopardize the transplant. They'll let me know if I'm going in for chemo on Wednesday or to start the clinical trial on Monday.

Whatever way we go, I'm still terrified that I have this evil, preternaturally strong cancer that isn't going to bow to modern medicine. A week ago, I dreaded the transplant and all that would come with it; now that the only hope I have for longer term recovery has been yanked out from underneath my feet, I'm pissed and want the transplant more than anything.

I'm just pissed. That sums it up.

8 comments:

ev said...

Perfectly cool to be pissed. Many forefathers of the Christian faith (like the real kind of following Jesus) got pissed too. Matterfact - even Jesus got pissed once in a while when it was merited.
Dad has been calling me for an update, so I'll call him and read him the post so he'll know what is going on.
At this point he is planning on driving back to Richmond Wednesday night after he preaches. I think he's hoping to see you on Thursday.

rebecca said...

It's as if the leukemia knows your fightin' powers are heightened around Halloween and had to throw a wrench in the plans. New drugs sound like a perfect sneak attack.

We're thinking of you! Let us know if we can do more...

JamieSmitten said...

Frustrating, to be sure, but just another fork in the road. They will find the right chemical molotov and you WILL overcome. No doubt about it.

talkingbudgie said...

I am a stranger but a well-wisher and have had a close family member with a rare form of leukemia living with me during their treatment.

Firstly, you are awesome. So are your family members.

Secondly, your doctors are awesome. It is so fantastic that they are exploring all options. Doctors are determined and competitive bastards and will do everything to win.

Sending you good vibes for the body, spirit and zombie invasion.

rach said...

Now I've delurked I'll continue! gotta keep that positivity! Trust me, you've been inspirational this whole journey and you won't give up now! The murdertank just hasn't revealed its super secret weapons yet...

Marissa said...

Thanks for updating as always. Still thinking about you and imagining confronting your cancer in a dark alley... I may be pregnant but I still fight dirty.

cheryl said...

i am a stranger too, just wishing you peace tonight.

Bio Fool said...

I'm a stanger and just got on to your blog from my sister. I hope that you have good days and (I'm not religious) I send you good thoughts. Hopefully you will get the transplant yoou need. The Universe may throw you a bone yet. I hope it does. Biofoole

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