Friday, September 26, 2008

Bad News Bear

I knew it wasn't going to be a pleasant phone call when the actual head of the bone marrow unit rang me up this morning to disclose the results of yesterday's bone marrow biopsy.

Leukemia is still there. The chemo had no effect on it except probably pissing it off.

We are meeting with the BMT team this afternoon to discuss other treatments, including the aforementioned clinical trial. Without remission, the transplant is pretty much off the table. Without the transplant, I have less than 10 percent chance of surviving this thing.

So yeah, we're in a bad place right now. Not happy. Nope.

17 comments:

Julie said...

I can't come up with anything of any use to say except that I adore you and we're all thinking of you.

TK said...

Shit.

Our thoughts and prayers, Manda.

Always.

tinksgirl said...

I know you don't know me but I'm crying for you right now. In a minute I'll get up and convince myself that if anyone can make it through this you can-you've been so brave, so strong, so open. But right this minute I'm just going to cry. I'm praying for you.

Kim said...

hang in there - hopefully shooting the pop out of stuff will be a nice diversion tonight. Hugs!!!!!

lordhelmet said...

Sorry to hear the bad news, but you're still in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong, you can beat this!

helly said...

Hope the meeting came up with a plan to blitz the zombies. Thinking of you.

Dawn said...

No words. Just prayers for and love to you.

Jeremy said...

Oh God, I'm so sorry dear. I'm usually not a religious person, but I'm praying for you right now with all I got.

Lots of love,

Jeremy

nicole said...

Dammit. Thoughts, prayers, mojo and love, Bama.

Ann Marie said...

Your mom brought 'lil A' to my classroom last week to say hi....he is such a wonderful little boy (said he was a football player as he ran down the hall), and I know you will not even consider giving up this fight! It is the fight of your life, literally, and I am standing behind you, chickie! If you need anything, dont hesitate to call! Another blood drive Nov. 13th from 3pm-7pm at Dumbarton in your honor!!!

apadams said...

I'm a Pajiba mostly lurker, but routinely check you site for updates and think of you often. I have so much respect for your strength and your courage and your resilience. I will continue to prey to Godtopus for your recovery. Best wishes and love and positive thoughts to you and your family.

rach said...

I'm with apadams. You don't know me and I don't know you, but I lurk at pajiba too, and you have all happy thoughts, prayers, good karma, good vibes, and whatever else from whichever belief system streaming your way!

meaux said...

'Bama, keep on being your sweet and positive self, and stay strong! I'm adding my thoughts and prayers to the many, many folks who are pulling for you here.

ev said...

Hey - sorry we left the fair early. I laid down as soon as I got home. For some reason, Ella was just really geared up and really making mince meat of my internal workings.
I'm glad we got to have lots of fun this weekend together. I may not say it often, but you really are my hero going through all of this. And you look damn good too.

You know I'm behind you and will do whatever you need me to do.
Love you!!

Anonymous said...

Hi. Another lurker here who has been checking up on you. I've been through some tough stuff too and I would like to recommend a book that helped me and my partner get through some scarey news and treatment: Love, Medicine and Miracles: Lessons Learned about Self-Healing from a Surgeon's Experience with Exceptional Patients by Dr. Bernie S. Siegel. (I would offer you my copy but I sent it to a former co-worker.) I did the Western medicine route with chemo, radiation and surgery and next month is 2 years cancer free for me. From reading your blog and updates, you definitely are an exceptional person and you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Lots of healing love and light is being sent your way.

gabriella said...

a fellow lurker, sending some cyber -support. not able to say it any better than all of the above. thinking of you.

Ranylt said...

So, sorry, Amanda. I'm glad to see your insight to new hope posted above this one. The energy we're all generating in the ether will.not.let.you.down.

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