Thursday, May 01, 2008

Fool Me Twice-With Tasty Update!

More Big House fake twenty-dollar-bill tricks have been played on Manda today (And yes, Karen, I am totally referring to your husband.), except this time the fake bill snatched from my grasp was the possibility of going home.

Instead my Folger's Crystals has been replaced with a definite bone marrow biopsy tomorrow and the very strong possibility of a second round of chemo to follow, starting next week.  Which in turn would mean another two or three weeks of solitary confinement in the Big House.

Junk.

Junk. Junk. Junk. Junk. Junk.  Junk.  Junk.  Junk.  Junk.  Junk.

What prompted this complete 180?  Seems the pathologist took a look at my blood smear yesterday and was concerned about the higher than normal percentage of blast cells.  This could be a strong indicator that the leukemia wasn't completely wiped out by the first round of chemo.  They'll have a better indication by Monday whether that it true, but from the way my doc was talking, she seemed to think it was a strong possibility that I'd be up for round two of poison.

About this, I am less than thrilled.  I guess knowing nothing going into the first time helped keep me in relatively good spirits.  Even though my side effects were manageable, I don't relish going through another week of fevers.  Plus, I am concerned about the effect all this poison's having on my internal organs and the possibility that my second go-round of side effects would be worse.

My dad tried to be optimistic and said that, if the leukemia wasn't cleared out, at least they caught it earlier rather than in a few weeks when things would have gotten worse.  But right now I can only think about is jumping back on that carousel from Hell of constant IV hook-up, no showers for days, feeling like ass, Napalm mouthwash, and the thought that this is all a really bad omen of things to come in LeukemiaTown.  

I can't help but be gripped by nasty foreboding.  What if I have the weird, rare, hard-to-cure kind of leukemia?  What if I have to do the whole bone marrow transplant deal?  What if it doesn't work?

Good thing tonight's an awesome night of television with The Office, 30 Rock, and a brand spanking new Lost.  Escapism is a wonderful distraction.

A last note: Thanks to reader and fellow Pajibian dammitjanet for sending me one of the inaugural Pajiba t-shirts.  I'll be sending it home to be washed (My sensitive skin demands it.), and I'll proudly wear it as I release Zombie Warrior on her second mission.

Update: So all the prayers and good thoughts I've been soliciting came through.  No biopsy today.  Appears that the pathologist took a look at three days worth of blood smears and saw that the disconcerting cells from one day actually diminished in percentage each following day.  This indicated that the mystery cells were more than likely not affliated with leukemia (otherwise they would have been increasing) and therefore no cause for alarm.  I'm going to double check this with my doc, but I think she referred to them as reactionary leukocytes.  As long as these percentages don't start climbing and stay at a high level, I should be fine.

So we've gone back a few squares and are now just watching my counts and waiting.  I'm not out of the water yet, as the past few days have taught me.  But at least I'm not getting poked today.

Get me off this ride; I think I'm going to be sick.

11 comments:

Karen said...

:( That's rough, Manda. I'll be praying for real 20s to start slipping under your door.

RottweilerTOM said...

Feeling like ass is acceptable. Smelling like ass is not!

JamieSmitten said...

Well Crappity Crap. But I'm with your dad on this one -- beat it beyond smithereens now instead of later. You can do this, girl. No doubt in my mind.

Kirsten said...

Sorry to here that. I've been sending quiet good vibes from up here in Canada, eh since I read about your health issues on Pajiba (I'm a chronic lurker). Though with this last news I should de-lurk and send you some good vibes via the text.
Wish you all the best. Hope it doesn't come to it, but I'm on the marrow donor list in both Canada and US. ;)

Ev said...

Your mom called last night. I battled between calling you & giving you time. I opted for time since I'll be there in a couple hours (or less) today.
I'm sorry the twenty ended up being fake (oh, did that analogy bring back memories...).
I'll be there soon.

amy =) said...

oh, that completely sucks! i'm sorry you have to continue in "lock-up" i hope you get paroled soon!
and if you need to change your analogy to get rid of ninja leukemia cells, you can always go with "the bride" from kill bill. she was very good at getting rid of EVERYone else.

Boo said...

Arg. Well, don't let a shitty sequel ruin your outlook. Seriously. You have been so amazingly strong through this whole situation; I think it's more than natural that your body might be saying "Oh shite." Zombie warrior will blast those fuckers away; but this time with more tits! (You know how sequels are...)

My thoughts, prayers, and meditations continue to rest with you, Manda. We love you!!

Alex the Odd said...

Well the update makes things a little better at least. I'm thinking of you, as always. Fight on Zombie Warrior.

Marissa said...

Keep on trucking my friend.

Anonymous said...

Know that people are thinking good thoughts.

Kimberly said...

Manda,
So sorry to hear that the zombies have more of a fight on their hands. You've been so brave and have to brave for a bit longer. Fight Girl! You can win this one!
Ignore the negative thoughts in your brain as much as you can and just keep on keeping on!
All your pajiba buddies are pulling for you and praying for you!
Take care!
Kim

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