Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Let's Scare Amanda to Death

Whoever DJ's the mix of piped in music at my local Ukrop's (For the uninitiated, Ukrop's is the homegrown RVA grocery chain.) is a sick bastard. Perhaps it is the Halloween season that inspired him/her to add the full instrumentation of the Tales From the Darkside theme song to today's morning line up.

While I like a good scare, really like a good scare, I did not relish having my heart go cold this morning in the baking products aisle.

Darkside, in particular one episode, scared the living shit out of me as a child. Yet, like a junkie to her smack, I watched it religiously, huddled late on a Friday night in bed with only the glow from my little B&W set to illuminate my room. Yes, blame my parents.

The last thing I thought I'd hear as I passed the sugar and stuffing mixes and Jello packets was that ominous "Boo Bee Bee Boom..." Even without the haunting, Poe-ish voiceover, the score was as eerie as it was to me 20 years ago. I stopped in the middle of the brightly lit aisle and sucked in my breath as I waited for the world to flip into the negative aspect of colors just like it did in the opening credits of the show.

Little A stopped chattering and knitted his brow as he studied his woefully pale, non-breathing mommy.

Then after only a few minutes song came to an end. The world had not slipped into horror and small closet monsters. Little A chucked a loaf of bread into the floor to get my attention. I recaptured my sanity just as it was beginning to float out over the icing.

Man lives in the sunlit world
of what he believes to be reality.
But, there is, unseen by most, an underworld,
a place that is just as real,
but not as brightly lit.....

Bwah ha ha!

Happy Halloween, y'all.

1 comment:

JamieSmitten said...

I never watched Darkside, so I would have been oblivious. I did, however, encounter Jimmy Dean singing carols in the frozen food aisle of Ukrops one holiday season. That was pretty scary for me. Being he's the sausage king and all....

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