Monday, October 29, 2007

Celebrities Should Not Dress Themselves

Especially not on Halloween.


Before I go any further, these images offend both my devotion to the Alice's Adventures in Wonderland universe and my deep and abiding love for Halloween and fancy dress. They should offend everyone else on general priciple.

The dress isn't that bad, very much in the Disney vein. And there were some other pictures out there of Teri and her daughter, dressed as Alice and looking very cute.

But the makeup and hair. Oh my. Tarantula eyelashes and exaggerated heart lips. Bless her Botoxed face, Teri is all over the map. She's somehow channeling a Andrews Sister female impersonator appearing in the local dinner theater production of Cabaret. With boobs you could bounce quarters off.

I had to don a welding mask just to view this picture without my eyes burning out of their sockets. I received several rounds of shots before attempting to post it on my blog. Later tonight I will take an antiseptic shower.


Before today, the Ms. Hilton above was only one of many vapid, poopy-headed starlets famous for absolutely nothing. Now she is the Effing AntiChrist and must be stopped.

Yeah, bitch, you're Alice. Alice as envisioned by a Methhead Dutch prostitute on her way to a Marilyn Manson concert/orgy.


Anticipated to begin making the rounds of gossip websites: photos of Brit Brit as the Mad Hatter lugging her little spawn dressed as the March Hare and Dormouse.

Shudder. I've just given myself a good scare for Halloween.

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