Tonight, my dad came by to sit with me, and we watched and discussed Dancing With The Stars. No where else but in my surreal little universe called LeukemiaTown.
Yesterday was pretty uneventful except for the streams of visitors. That left me pretty pooped (In my normal life, I am hardly a social butterfly.), and with no energy left to blog.
I got several presents from fellow bloggers/Pajibians yesterday. Because YOU GUYS ROCK! I've enjoyed both the CDs this morning (Who knew Feist and Sufjan made for good hospital music?), and I can't wait to crack open the Farscape book. YOU GUYS ROCK! Did I say that already?
My chemo is marching on with little side effects thus far, but I am sure in a week's time I'll be having the REAL fun. Whoop, whoop. How excited am I for this?
Apparently, mouth sores are a common side effect of this chemo, so they've got me rinsing with this Listerine-on-steroids mouthwash to try and prevent sores. It numbs the life out of my tongue. This stuff better work because it is totally gross.
There must be a margarine protocol down in the kitchen because with nearly every meal I get there's a little margarine tub on my tray. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Little tub of margarine on the side. Cereal and coffee cake? Margarine. Mac and cheese. Margarine. It's a mystery.
I'm trying to visualize the whole Star Trek metaphor so many of you suggested, and for some reason it's just not working. I think I've got a new idea. More on that tomorrow. It's just about Ambien time.
10 comments:
Manda--
I found your site via Deus Ex Malcontent and decided to write.
Twelve years ago when my daughter was 2, her mom was diagnosed with APL. It came out of nowhere. The treatment involved a specific drug that induced remission, followed by two rounds of chemo, with all the concomitant nastiness.
She also took control of it the best she could. Creative visualization tapes, macrobiotic diet. She harvested her healthy stem cells in the event that an autologous transplant became necessary. (It didn't) Whatever she wanted, she got. And after all that hell, and years of nerve-wracking, follow-up blood tests, her doctor at Cedars finally pronounced her cured, a word they don't toss around lightly.
My daughter is now 14. Her mom is fine. I figure you're hearing from people with stories so here's one with a happy ending. It is beatable.
Good luck.
Ian
PB and J and margarine? Ick, man. Ick.
The Internet Hearts Manda. It seems we just can't get enough good words in about your strength and smarts.
maybe the margarine is to prevent the mouth sores?
They want to fatten you up because you probably won't want to eat next week - good for you getting some exercise while you feel like it. Seriously, it sounds gross but eat the butter (or something else fattening if you can). Especially if your mouth sores do show up (don't give up on the mouthwash) or if you get thrush (mouth yeast infection). There is a good chance that food will taste gross and your appetite will be shit.
I know you want to eat healthy food to stay strong, but seriously, pig out while you can.
I got the cookbook "Foods That Fight Cancer", and I was all set to cook these super-healthy foods (I was pregnant when I got diagnosed with breast cancer). Between diarrhea, mouth sores and thrush, I ended up eating noodles and cheese for the last two months of my pregnancy. Guess what? I'm doing great now, I didn't lose any substantial weight beyond my pregnancy pounds, I'm feeling strong and my little girl is four months old and healthy as a horse. In other words, do what you have to.
Now that I'm starting to feel better, I'm starting to eat the healthy foods, and I'll keep doing it to keep the cancer at bay.
You'll get through this, and so will I =) If you want to email me some time, feel free (tfenniak at shaw dot ca). I'm planning to keep up on your story, but I'm going in for my mastectomy next week, so I'll be down for the count for a little bit. I'll check in soon.
Forget the Orcs and Dwarves. Consider this your own battle royale against the Zombies - perhaps stockpiling the margarine will enable you to stave off the invasion in some Macguyver-y way?
My dad got diagnosed with CLL last year. Cancer sucks, there is no way around that. Hope you look as rawking as Sinead O'Conner did minus the craziness. I'm pulling for you.
Rachael
The margarine is a magic ingredient. Hope things look up for you.
Hey 'Bama. I wish you all the best, and just know that everyone over at The Disco is pulling for you.
I found your site via Deus Ex Malcontent as well.
I just want to say I am rooting for you.
Best wishes and hang in there.
Sincerely, Carol in Lafayette IN
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