Bits and Bots of Oscar

A few impressions of Oscar '08:

-I wish there was a writer's strike before every Academy Awards. This year the ceremony was blissfully free of the filler bloated production numbers, but I did miss some of the funny skits and shorts of yesteryear. Amazingly, it clocked in at just over three hours.

-Jon Stewart looked lost. He had a few good bits, but he wasn't nearly as sharp as he was in '06. Having such a short time to work on the show took its toll, but hopefully he won't be ruled out as a future host.

-A lot of people have been complaining that this year was the most boring Oscars ever, which I think is a bit of an exaggeration. Unless you're talking about the fashions. Snore. Was every woman clad in either a strapless sheath or a flowing Grecian number? And so much black. I liked the outfits of the Italian set decorator and one of the short documentary winners the best. All the big name celebrities played super-safe. Maybe Diablo Cody's dress was Glamor Sheena Jungle Princess, but it worked with her Bettie Page hair, plus it looked darn comfortable. I wish she'd worn a little more of a heel though. Only Daniel Day-Lewis's wife and Tilda Swinton brought the serious fashion wackiness. And I gotta respect Tilda Swinton for owning her kooky, no makeup look because she is THAT awesome of an actress. Who's going to diss a woman who's both the Ice Queen and the Angel Gabriel?

-Watching all of those montages (And were there some montages! Sheesh!) reminded me of how many duds and turkeys have been awarded Oscars over the years. Really, the Academy should have been blushing with shame at some of the stinkers from the Best Picture retrospective.

-Those montages also revealed the magic of a truly great Oscar host, something we haven't had since oh, the days of Bob Hope and Johnny Carson. Even the great Billy Crystal pales in comparison.

-Jennifer Hudson has stretch marks on her upper arms....Damn....We have a kick ass television.

-When I get old, I want to be a Spanish woman, like Javier Bardem's mom, so I can rock some cleavage and shitload silver jewelry and not care a smudge what anyone thinks.

-Thank goodness Michael Moore did not win. That man scares me.

-I managed to predict most of the big winners. While I missed the mark on the tech awards, I did call that one movie would sweep them all. Nothing was really surprising. I even called the Foreign Film award while the nominees were shown because time and time again, Holocaust movie=Oscar.

-The Academy got it right this year; I can't complain about any of the major awards. All of the acting winners seemed honestly surprised and excited to win; their acceptance speeches were humble and heartfelt. The Coen brothers (aside from a few duds) are a couple of the best filmmakers we've got going on in Hollywood. No Country For Old Men was the first movie I'd seen in a really long time where I left the theater thinking, "Damn. That was a really good movie," and had me thinking about it for days afterwards.

-Now when are these asshats going to give some gold to Kate Winslet, Laura Linney, Edward Norton, and finally nominate Christian Bale?