Five For Friday

Thanks to everyone for their well wishes. Adrian's back on track, health wise (By that I mean only minor hacking and a sore knee.), and I've properly sanitized the bedclothes so I can sleep in my own bed again.

Today, Little A was in rare form with his bon mots, as well as being rather rambunctious during our outings. A few of today's gems to file under Funny Stuff That My Kid Says:

*This morning as I changed his diaper, Little A asked to see what was on the t-shirt I am wearing underneath my Invader Zim hoodie (Yes, I am a thirtysomething woman who wears clothing from Hot Topic. Shut your face.) It's a shirt given to me by my friend P'Nut and features a diagram of suitable behaviors in the event of a zombie attack. Little A pointed and said "Zombies". My boy. I am so proud.
*As we were walking out of the door, I had my sunglasses pushed up on my head. Little A looked at me and said, "Mommy's hair looks funny. Like Grammy's." Nice.
*When the car CD player switched from Mark Ronson's Version to My Chemical Romance's The Black Parade, Little A said, over the first few strains of music, "Mommy's favorite." Yep, good call kiddo. "Not BeeBoo's favorite." Well okay then; we're all entitled to our own opinions.

Five Things In Movies That Drive Me Insane

1. When a characters sits down to a meal in a restaurant and then DON'T EAT A DAMN THING. Or better yet, when a character leaves the restaurant before the food even arrives. How wasteful. Makes me want to reach into the screen and bogart those perfectly good fries left sitting untouched on the table.

2. When two characters, during conversation, constantly use each other's name. Seriously; next time you are watching a movie pay close attention to how many times in conversation the characters call each other by name. It's bizarre; who does that? If my friend repeated my name over and over when she talked to me, I think my response would be something like, "What the hell's wrong with you? Suddenly stricken autistic? I know my name, goofball."

3. Vomiting as an emotional response. Again, who does this? By my memory I've seen characters in movies (and television) spew chunks when grief-stricken, shocked, ashamed, horrified, disgusted, possessed by an evil spirit, nervous, terrified... You name it. Personally, I call that lazy acting. Instead of having to show an actual emotional response through facial expression and body language, let's just make a bunch of horking sounds and spit out a mouthful of minestrone. Oscar worthy!

4. Not saying goodbye at the end of a phone conversation. If hang up the phone without even a little "Bye!", then I'm pissed and the person at the end of the other line knows it. Either that or my crappy cell phone battery died on me again.

5. Sex scenes. Cinematic sex scenes in general bother me because for the most part they have little grounding in reality. How many of us were just more than a little "meh" after our first sexual encounters because it was nothing like the softly lit, well choreographed, athletic displays we watched on HBO (or Skinemax). But my biggest issue with the sex scenes in movies is that I've never seen one deal with the dreaded Spot in the Middle of the Bed or as I like to call it, Leakage. Never once has a female character immediately following coitus, scrambled for a handful of tissues on her way to the bathroom (By the way girls, every woman should pee after sex. That was some of my mom's best advice.).

Oh wow, I could go on and one here. I'm leaving out cell phones that work EVERYWHERE (X-Files: The Movie was one of the worst offenders.), people not turning on a light before wandering into dark rooms, all those Macintosh computers with Windows operating systems...