Chatting it up with a couple of nurses this afternoon, I discovered why my room is so spacious:
"Oh, it's funny they put you in one of the bariatric rooms. That's why your doors are so wide."
"What do you mean, bariatric?"
"For big people."
Yup. I am in the fat people room. I kid you not. It's a hospital room for an overly large patient. The doors are extra wide, the chair is nice and wide (It's not, as I previously assumed, a loveseat.), bathroom is extra big.
I'm in the Large Marge Suite.
Can my life be any more absurd?