Five For Friday

My Five Best Contributions to the English Language

1. Jihoobahlyboobly (spelling approximated): In one of Eddie Murphy's old standup routines, he riffed on his nephews (spawn of wolf-face sister-in-law) and how when they talked it sounded like "Goony Goo Goo". I think that was the genesis of jihoobahlyboobly which means anything that looks or sounds like total nonsense, also a mildly derogatory term. Remember those Debbie Allen choreographed dance routines that were smooshed awkwardly into the Academy Awards ceremonies? Jihoobahlyboobly, dear readers. Jihoobahlyboobly.

2. "to go banana bread": My variation on "going bananas". Only going banana bread is a more elevated level of crazy. You're not just bananas crazy; you've taken crazy, mashed it with a fork, and made a baked good out of it.

3. Adding definite articles at random to nouns: We totally ripped this off of the good people of Dinwiddie, VA who in turn probably ripped it off of the Germans. It started when we began referring to cable television as "The Cable" (As in, "It's going to be hard to follow the new season of Project Runway since we no longer have The Cable."")and has since been adopted by other words ("Star Jones had The Gastric, you know."), including proper nouns like "The Costco". Since embracing the definite article and all its greatness, the trend has caught on with some of our friends. My college roommate who lives in Seattle is now spreading The Love for The on the West Coast.

4. Smacktacular: My own personal portmanteau, smacktacular is used to describe greatness with a high gloss sheen of lunacy. Extreme Elimination Challenge is the embodiment of smacktacular. As are demolition derbies at the State Fair.

(On a totally unrelated note, portmanteau is one of my new favorite words. I think I might name my future Etsy store Portmanteau if I don't go with my standby alter ego, AlabamaPink)

5. Vincinity: Everyone has at least word one they stumble over, tongue fat in the mouth uncooperative with the brain's signals. Vicinity was that word for me, and for years, I lived under the assumption that my mangled pronunciation of vincinity was the right way to say it. And for some bizarre reason, no one ever corrected me. Until I met my husband, and he put me in my place. I tried in vain to make my pronunciation work, hoping I could with my own goofy version of aphasia add a little Mandaness to the lexicon. Eventually my husband wore me down. Now I pronounce it properly, but every time the word is poised to leave my lips, I have to hesitate and force my mouth to mold the letters properly. Old habits and such don't just lie down without a fight.