Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Bad Little Things

This morning Turtleman/Gareth asked me if I could access my personal drive. Apparently, there's some huge global issue with the personal drives here at Corporate Hell. This gave me an excuse to wade through all the crap I had stored in my personal drive, some of which dates back to my first few years here (I am even a pack rat in the virtual world.).

I came across this funny list of "Bad Things" that someone had sent me who knows how long ago.

Is is schadenfreude when you can chuckle about the bad crap that has happened to you or is that just masochistic?

*You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them.
*The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle.
*The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.
*There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to find an address.
*You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.
*It's bad enough that you step in dog poop, but you don't realize it till you walk across your living room rug.
*The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper never works for you.
*There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.
*You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.
*You drink from a soda can into which someone has extinguished a cigarette.
*You slice your tongue licking an envelope.
*A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away.
*There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the tray.
*The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing.
*A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling.
*You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm instead of 7am.
*The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that song.
*You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.
*People behind you in a supermarket line dash ahead of you to a counter just opening up.
*You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don't know how to spell it.
*You have to inform five different salespeople in the same store that you're just browsing.
*You had that pen in your hand only a second ago and now you can't find it.
*You reach under the table to pick something off the floor and smash your head on the way up.

1 comment:

ahamos said...

You're my bad little thing. Perhaps you should glue Gareth's phone to the cradle and then call him repeatedly.

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